In a situation of disagreement, instead of staying blocked, we can ask for a break and go for a drink. Through informal discussions, we can try to identify their needs without their expressing them. By “reciprocity”, they will then try to guess ours. It will then be possible to resume negotiations under better conditions.
Last autumn in Beijing, I participated in a tough negotiation which got on everybody’s nerves by the end of the day. I proposed to stop and go to eat hot pot. Sitting around the steaming pot, sharing spicy food, everybody felt relaxed and warm. After 10 bottles of beer, it became so evident to both parties that our long-standing friendship was much more important than a contract clause on paper. The next day, when we returned to the negotiation table, both parties made naturally one step backward, and we reached a consensus …
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