Lu XUEFEI

FACTS VS CONCEPTS

Are you on the same wavelength as your Chinese counterpart? I have been participating in many cross-border negotiations. Very often, the two sides are completely disconnected from each other. Europeans usually invest a lot of time & emotion on the storytelling of their company and brand, to finally realize that their Chinese counterparts are only …

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LADY FIRST vs BOSS FIRST

Once, I was invited to dinner in a Michelin starred restaurant in Paris. We were ten: the Chairman of a big industrial group, his executives, a journalist and me (the only lady). Before the official dinner started, people stood in the salon, chatting with each other. A waiter served champagne. He served me first, then …

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CHINESE YES

CHINESE YES doesn’t mean yes, but more like “I heard what you say, keep going until something else suits me better.” This is very confusing for those who always assume that “yes” means “I agree”. ✔️In China, being asked about something shows that one is trusted. People feel therefore honored to involve and want to …

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BARE BRANCH

At 37, my cousin is what is called a “BARE BRANCH” – single, unmarried. This label is used to designate men who do not marry and therefore do not add “branches” to the family tree. China has far more men than women. Over the next 30 years, up to 30 million men of marriage age …

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FINGER COUNTING

On a hot summer night, at a local bar in Beijing, two foreign men encountered a critical incident. They wanted to have beer. One of them therefore went to see the barman, and made a number gesture by holding up his thumb and the index finger. The barman nodded his head. Several minutes later, 8 …

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BILL FIGHT

Paying for dinner in China can be a harrowing experience for Westerners, involving yelling, pushing or wrestling if necessary. While Westerners usually go Dutch, Chinese treat each other to meals. No matter the occasion (family or business dinners), bill fights are usually loud, amusing and physical. Last time when I got to fight, my bracelet …

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GUAN XI

The term Guan Xi could sound pejorative and is often linked with utilitarianism and nepotism.  In some countries, relationship is built on proximity, affection… In China, relationship is built primarily on reciprocity (Guan Xi). It is a bond of interest: give-and-receive, trade-and-debt… A puts B in debt by giving B something. B then tries to …

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GIFT TABOO

Never offer Chinese men green hats as a gift. The expression “wearing a green hat” means your wife is cheating on you. It’s humiliating and a huge culture taboo. It is said that in Yuan dynasty (13th–14th century), the relatives of prostitutes were forced to wear green hats. Another color myth is YELLOW, associated with …

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FILIAL PIETY

If you have parents who are over 60, it’s illegal to not visit them regularly. This is definitely one of the most interesting China facts. In 2013, a law was introduced to allow for the elderly to sue their children, if they fail to meet their parents’ financial and spiritual needs. In the first case, …

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IN A MEETING

Why do the Chinese rarely raise questions during a meeting? Deeply rooted in Chinese society is the need to belong and conform to a unit, whether the family or an organization. By keeping silent, Chinese try not only to save their own faces, but also the faces of others. In a meeting, there are 3 …

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